I spent an entire day doing music related stuffs: piano lessons, watching the sound I music, watching Frozen, reading up about Julie Andrews and the sound of music, reading up about musicals and its already 12am oh my.
Lunch and dinner today was good too thank you lord.
My next counselling session would be on Tuesday with a different counsellor.. I'm actually quite worried. I just want to get better and be happy I'd kill for it really.. For now, what I'm doing to avoid being depressed and negative and suicidal is that I just isolate myself and think happy things!
It lasts for just 5 minutes!!! Sigh. Then I go back super depressed and just cry.
I studied really hard...
Partly because I'm a kiasu, but the biggest factor would be me being a failure. I was the top in all my subjects against my friends and I was the one always teaching and tutoring them. Maths was my strongest subject. Idk what happened.
This came in a really bad time. I'm now depressed to the core and would just want to isolate myself forever.
I'll be better tomorrow I promise.
And frankly I'm too lazy to explain to anyone why I'm constantly depressed anymore. 1) no one cares 2) they'll just say "don't get so stressed up" 3) they get annoyed 4) they don't understand
I'm scared of myself. And why do I feel like I'm going through this alone......
xx.
