I think I finally found out what's wrong with me emotionally.
All these while I've been acting like a prisoner of my own experiences, and others' happy lives.
If I ever end up as a mother one day, I swear I will never let my children feel the same way as I do right now. I will reassure them, grow up with them. I will not let them go through what I've been through. I promise a happy family, because I finally realize the importance of a healthy family.
And it took me so long to realize, all these while I've been battling with myself and hurting my loved ones in the process. I don't know who do I owe an apology next, or who owes me one.
And I doubt I could ever get out of this nightmare of mine.
This is such a deep night...
xx.
