a life goes by.

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It's the 24th of July.

3 more hours and I'm turning 14, life's very sad these days that I don't know where to start at. July's a sad month, no joke. God hates me I guess, so does my family and sometimes friends.

Ok let's continue.

My mum just scolded me because I asked her to fetch me out tomorrow, she said I'm troublesome and annoying. Heck, it's my birthday and yet she's saying that. If she doesnt like me so much, then what for keep me in this house? JohYee, Vanessa I wanna move in with you guys right now. D;

Next.

My sisters are not helping. I slept at 1am rushing projects but they didn't backup for me. Ok maybe because I didn't ask them to. Screw them but it's pretty my fault too. Homeworks and projects all pouring in, I really need to split my body into more than 10 sections to get it all complete.

Going on.

Friend's problem, I can't believe all the things she said, I can't believe all the things he did, I can't believe I'm wasting more than time. I need a shoulder, I need a hug, who can I go to right now? This is the most frusfrating thing ever. I don't know what to do, I'm lost, no one's understanding, they don't seem helpful. Kas, I need to laugh, I miss your sounds and those fun last year. Fuck what am I saying right now? I don't deserve all these do I? What am I? A toy for everyone to go to when they're sad and crying? Then who's my toy?

Moving on.

Health. Seriously what's wrong with me? I've been suffering with all kinds of pain these days. Add up with all those problems that I've been experiencing, I've never laugh nicely for a day since God knows when. Nope I'm pretty sure these aren't PMS, whatever you call that.

Sighh.

Yet the most confusing thing is school life. So should I just leave? It's taking up more than time. They're saying yes, I might as well follow advices. You're acting aren't you? A very good actor, because I eventually believe in everything you did. After all the things you said, then only I realize I'm torturing myself. Now I know how others feel. But I hope we still can remain the best of buds, you get what I mean.

Conclusion.

Mum doesn't even sacrifice eventhough it's my birthday, she said im annoying and she said she dont have the mood to cook dinner tomorrow, wtf do whatever you want woman, as if my life isn't miserable enough. I'm moving on with school life, giving up going forward yada yada. I'm drinking more water for my health, like it will help. I'm trying to ask guides for KKS and stuff, but I guess teachers hate me so, screw that. No one's listening to me except for my bolster. God, it can be my next boyfriend, it listens to me mumble and never complain, its dries off my tears too.

Plus, I can't believe I'm crying while typing all these, birthday's in 2 hours and 30 minutes. Curse enough?

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